Caresses Of An Empty Heart
by WhisperedThreat
Summary: She is tired of his love. He never said it was love in the first place. He planned on keeping it casual. She never planned on anything. She's broken, screaming out for help. He walks over her again and again and enjoys it thoroughly. A story about a revenge he didn't plan to take.
1. Prologue

Caresses Of An Empty Heart

A/n : Major psychological stress and angst. Let's go for a ride shall we? Rated M for Star Gazing. I do not own Twilight or any characters of the story. They belong to SM.  
~*~*~

Your whispers echo off the walls  
And you can hear my distant calls  
The voice of who I used to be  
Screaming out "someone, someone please".

She decided it's a pretty sky.

The stars seemed to be twinkling a lot, and she also decided that it was in support of her decision to leave him. But she looked at the moon, looking particularly cozy with a star, and another star not so far away, feeling left out, and she needed to look away.

Then she decided they were mocking her.

Crazy laugh bubbled and died in her throat, taking the form of tears. She was laughing, she was crying. And then she started singing. 'So what,' she thought, 'if the words sounded prettier in a certain boy's voice? He doesn't own the song.' And she started singing at the top of her lungs, her arms flailing around as if she didn't have a care in the world.

Isabella Marie Swan had the river in front of her, the highway lay behind. Her monster of a truck , that she pretended to love much like everything else in her life, stood quiet and ominous a few feet on the grassy bank of the said river. She would be fine, she always was. She always landed on her feet, and no auburn haired – green eyed brat could change that. Not even Edward Cullen. She just needed a minute.

She was still singing, laughing loudly now.

"_Come Josephine , in my flying machine…." . Warm honey rubbed on cold ,cold skin. _

The memory took Bella by surprise. The song came to her lips , never went past them. The perfect voice, the pretty face. Some people really do have everything , don't they?

Seems like Karma ain't such a bitch with a little persuasion .

Bella was staring straight ahead, onto the other side of the river. Blank face, weary eyes. She did lose a rather tiring game of tug of war. But to be true, the game never was fair, was it? It was always her against the the two of them. Even if you do remove Irina, the day she lasted against Edward Cullen would be declared a national holiday.

All it ever took was broken kisses, whispered love and screamed out threats. All it took was a look, a touch ,a smile. All it took was him to be ready to lend a fragment of him to her for a little while, only to rip it away from her when she grew close to it.

Love screamed at him to stop, but he couldn't listen, because he had smothered love with mindless sex and endless addictions. She screamed that he was hurting him, stated it, proved it, whispered it. He shoved cotton in his ears. What was she supposed to do?

What hurt more? Leaving or pinpricks-like-hammer on an already breaking heart?

She left.


	2. In The Recesses Of Her Mind

Caresses Of An Empty Heart

A/n : Thank you for the wonderful response. I'm not doing anything much these days, so you can expect daily updates. This is my first story. I've never written a story here before and I still don't quite understand the whole beta system. However, I do need one. Please help me out?  
SexyCullenLove : Thank you, I'll try to keep up the speed.  
chanahope : Thank you,  
And now to the story.  
~*~*~

Always took candy from strangers,  
Didn't wanna get me no trade.  
Never want to be like papa,  
Working for the boss ev'ry night and day.  
~*~*

Life is cruel.  
She knows that. She has been on the receiving end of that cruelty countless times now.  
She had a happier life once. When she lived in a bubble and she thought that the cruel aspect of life was a myth. But then a sudden shift took place, and her bubble burst. She was exposed to everything she had regarded a myth. And now, she was willing to bet that life showed a certain animosity towards her. One act of cruelty from life's side, but the dominos just kept falling. One after the other. And she was left grasping at straws to maintain a normal lifestyle.

Memories flashed with an unforgiving force, wanting to punish. She refused to give in.

"_Emmett, put me down! Put me down or I'll tell Mom!" She screams, as a blue eyed boy is flinging her around in his arms. She is laughing so hard that she is crying, and she can feel the summer on her skin, turning her pink. The sun is warm, the air dusty, and she loves it._

She did not know what scared her more, the tears in her eyes as she remembered her brother, or the bitter edge the memory contained. _He left me here_. A sob escaped her throat.

She was sitting on her small, old bed, on a purple comforter. The door was locked, but then again, screams and shouts and curses never learnt to knock. She could hear things breaking, and then, silence. Silence is loud when you've never learnt to live with it. Renée had probably left. Again.

She stood up carefully and looked at her toes. She was woozy from sitting so long. Painted nails. Gold on midnight blue. It was chipping off.

She remembered the day Emmett had told her he was going away to college. She wasn't by any means an unpractical girl. She knew that one day he was going to go away and that she was going to be left alone, but she was not ready for that day. _She would never be ready_.

Emmett was everything she had ever known. He was her teddy bear, her Casper and her whole world. And that was just what the problem was. Isabella Marie Swan had never known anything more than she had known Emmett Swan. The minute she was old enough to understand the concept of a world, she wrapped hers around him. So when he walked away, never looking back, as if he didn't care, for the first time in her sixteen year old life she understood how lonely the world could be.

Emmett was her ozone layer, without him, she was defenseless. She was angry with him, not for going away, but for not maintaining any contact except a few hurried phone calls in a year. He had changed. She was still herself.

She lay back down on the bed, staring at the ceiling with blank eyes. Haunted eyes with deep dark secrets. Next day was the first day of school. She didn't mind. Didn't mind pretending, didn't mind studying. What she did mind, however, was having stupid memories about the past. She wanted to be busy. No, she _needed_ to be busy. The fights didn't affect her. Anymore. She had become an expert at blocking them out. Maybe she still hurt sometimes. _' Does it hurt, heart?' _ she asked herself. Her heart was still blocking everything out. She waited for a minute or two, and then the positive thrumming response of the organ made her want to tear it out. "Traitor" she whispered in the dark. "You're a bloody traitor." she laughed at her own lame joke, humorlessly, lifelessly.

She stared at the clock on her bedside table. It read 12:19 a.m. She turned her head towards the ceiling again. "I just spent my birthday lying in bed." she whispered again. "And it's over now." Expressions clawed at her insides, trying to come out. She refused to give in. Stoic expression. "He isn't gonna call. Looks like it's just you and me, heart." And she smiled.

Somebody threw her world away, burnt it and walked away. The most important person of her life, and she smiled. She always did what was expected of her, faced storms head on, came out bruised and battered, brushed her clothes and walked away. Only for life to throw a hurricane her way. 'Hope will creep up again tomorrow,' she thinks , 'when I won't be looking.' But she gave up hope for the day and went to sleep. She had decided though, that life, life was cruel. And it _hated_, _loathed_, _despised_ her.


End file.
